Bye, Bye, Bye.

Honestly, it makes me incredibly sad that I am typing this post right now.

After a long and sad discussion, Carla and I have decided to step back from blogging on Makeshift Bookmark.

For the past two and a half years, I've found solace in blogging. The people I've met, the events I've attended, the amazing book conversations I've had. I've made friendships that I am 100% sure will be long-lasting. I always found time to squeeze in a blog post here and there. I wanted to share my thoughts with the world and have people squeal in delight over this and that with me.

But then things kind of...fizzled.

I'm so proud of our little blog and what it's become, but all good things eventually come to an end, right? I just don't have that spark anymore. And I hate that I don't.

But, considering that I posted that Big Bookish Positivity Post a week or so ago, let's focus on the happy things:

I am so grateful that blogging has brought so many of you wonderful people into my life. My bowing out of blogging will not change that. Hellooooo, I still have the Twitter and I don't plan on ceasing my bookish conversations any time soon.

The last two years have given me opportunities that I would have never dreamed could happen. I've met and hugged my favorite authors, the people who have created entire worlds that I lived in for days, weeks, months at a time.

Makeshift Bookmark gave me a sense of accomplishment and a sense of community. You guys have all been so incredible and holy crap, so. much. FUN. I love talking to each and every one on a daily basis.

Not to mention the last six months sharing the site with Carla have been a blast. She is one person that, if I could invent a teleportation machine and bring her to me (or me to her, because I WANT A BRITISH ACCENT), I wouldn't give it a second thought. I have so much love and admiration for this girl that it is borderline creepy. SERIOUSLY. She rocks. Carla, I love your face.

And to my friends, and especially those of you who are some of my best friends: your presence in my life makes me a better freaking person. Period.

I don't regret getting into blogging. Despite the stress, the benefits far outweighed the sads.

I love you all. Thanks for putting up with me <3

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HEY GUYS! Carla here; I just wanted to say a massive great big THANK YOU to Jen, co-blogger extraordinarie and my go to girl for anything and everything. These past 6 months sharing this blog with you have been full of hysterical laughter, inside joked and endless conversations that somehow always wind up being about food. I am incredibly lucky to call you a friend; I know this sounds super cheesy but I really don't know what I would do without you and just knowing that you will always be there whenever I need someone to talk to, well, I appreciate it more than you will ever know. No one else can match my dramatic tendencies quite like you. I love your face so hard it's not even borderline creepy, IT'S STRAIGHT UP CREEPY. (p.s. Jen, lolololol dawson leery crying. GET A GRIP BRO)

For everyone who has taken the time to comment on our posts, THANK YOU for taking the time to leave us with a little bit of yourself. I've loved reading your comments and discovering new blogs. I am so proud of this blog and what Jen has built it into and I am incredibly chuffed to be able to walk away from this and know that none of the friendships I have made will end. For me, blogging was never about the books, it was about you guys, so thanks for letting me share this experience with what I consider to be the best kind of people in the world.  You guys rock. READ ON. 

(OH and p.s. we will still be tumbling (is that right??) at http://makeshiftbookmark.tumblr.com, with teenie weenie reviews but mainly just commentary on stuff.)

Carla's Thoughts: The Life and Times of Gracie Faltrain by Cath Crowley

Published 1 March 2004
Pan Macmillan Australia

Gracie Faltrain is doing fine. Her soccer team is off to the national championships, she's just about to capture the boy of her dreams and she's well on the way to being 'in' at school. But Gracie is about to learn that life is not always fair.

First her best friend Jane leaves the country. Then there's an unfortunate event involving her tongue and her dream-boy's ear, which makes her a laughing-stock at school. When she finds out that the boys don't want her on the soccer team any more, she thinks life can't get any worse, but she's wrong. Her parents have news of the worst possible kind.

Within days, Gracie is floundering. No friends, no soccer, no love-life - and perhaps no family - add up to one confused and angry Gracie. Is there anything she can do to make things better, or should she just resign herself to her new screwed-up life?

There is something pretty special about reading the debut novel of one of your favourite authors, it's almost like you're getting a glimpse at the roots of their talent; you can see where everything that come after has stemmed from and how much they've grown as a writer. And Gracie Faltrain is no exception. I was almost giddy with infatuation, just getting to read Cath's first published novel with the knowledge of what her writing style and execution has evolved into.

Gracie is the only girl on an all boys (duh) soccer team and she rocks it. She is a badass super talented player and the team would be nothing without her. And she knows it. To put it bluntly, she is an insufferable hot head who likes to flaunt her talent and undeniable skill over every player on the field. Let the BFF charms rain down on her inflated head because I LOVE YOU GRACIE. Even when I wanted to give you a sharp kick in the shins because girl makes some really questionable decisions. She is pushy and doesn't know what the back the hell off but she is quite possibly my favourite Crowley girl, and not just because she could introduce me to Martin Knight, but because she is authentic and annoying and all kinds of amazing. 

Martin Knight. 'Stick with me, Faltrain' MARTIN KNIGHT. 

I know what you're thinking 'a book about soccer? lolololol what is this, Bend it like Beckham?' I am going to sound really cliche here and say, this isn't a book about soccer. Sure, soccer has a really major part in the plot and is instrumental to the story line BUT this is a Cath Crowley book. She can make a soccer flying through the air sound like poetry. She has a way with words that with bamboozle your mind and boggle your senses. Told through multiple narratives, we switch from Gracie to members of her soccer team to her parents. YES, her parents and let me tell you, I gulped them down like they was water and I was dying of thirst in the desert.

To say this is a debut novel is mind bending. Crowley crafts a story about soccer that isn't really about soccer at all.  The intricacies of her character development and a fast paced plot line full of hilarious incidents and the FUNNIEST date in the history of all the books ever, make this a debut that I hope everyone has a chance to experience. 

p.s. yesterday I did a post on TEABS (The End of an Awesome Book Syndrome) which is what i experienced when I finished the Gracie books - in short, they turned me into an emo head case with abandonment issues.

In which Carla tackles a severe case of TEABS*

*TEABS - The End of an Awesome Book Syndrome - penned by the awesome ladies over at Forever Young Adult

I should start this post with a confession - I am a Drama Queen when it comes to books. I get WAY too emotionally invested (which I guess is a good thing as a reader because it means that I really connect with the characters and immerse myself fully into the story the author is telling me). And by emotionally invested, I mean I turn into a head case. Here is a list of things I have done whilst reading -

Thrown books at the wall

Ripped out offending pages

Scribbled over sentences that made my blood boil

Hid a book under my bed then threw it in the bin

Thrown up from crying to much

Bit a book in a flying rage

AND THESE ARE BOOKS THAT I HAVE ENDED UP LOVING. 

In January I read the Gracie Faltrain series by Cath Crowley - Cath is undeniably one of the most talented YA authors with books on the shelves. Her words and her writing speak to me as a reader in a way no other book ever has. I love her characters, I love the twisted webs they get tangles in, I love her luscious prose and her ability to make me feel so much. In January I read the Gracie Faltrain books and proceeded to lose my mind. Here is the evidence.

EXHIBIT A - Text between me and Jenny displaying my unhinged state.

EXHIBIT B - Tweets between me and Cath where I admit wanting to shove popcorn in her face. 

EXHIBIT C - Tweets between me, Maggie and Noelle - the girls who helped me get my feelings under control.

EXHIBITS D, E, F & G - Email excerpts from conversations between me, Noelle and Maggie.

I had a bad case of the emo TEABS but seriously you guys, I love love love love this series. Cath Crowley knows whats up, even when she is stomping on your heart then taping it back together with love. So I hope you read these books and if this post today hasn't persuaded you that you NEED THESE BOOKS IN YOUR LIFE then maybe my review tomorrow will? 

If you want to become demented like me and join the Cath Crowley fan club, then I suggest reading ALL of her books. You will not be sorry.

The Life and Times of Gracie Faltrain

Gracie Faltrain Takes Control

Gracie Faltrain Getis it Right (Finally)

A Little Wanting Song

Graffiti Moon 

The Howling Boy - coming September 2013

The Great Big Cheesy Post of Bookish Positivity

Warning: you may need some wine to complement the cheese that is to follow.

you guys make me smile like this

Okay, so I'll be the first to admit that I fall prey to all the insecurities/thoughts that many bloggers endure, including (but not limited to):

"Why does x publisher hate me?"
"I WOULD CUT A BISH FOR THAT ARC"
"No one even reads my blog anyway."
"Why do I do this again?"
"I don't even want to blog anymore."
"I have no idea what to write about that's worth reading."

And those pesky feelings of exclusion, inferiority, competition, self-blog-loathing, etc. It can be all-consuming at times.

It's so easy to lose sight of why we do this, with these feelings running rampant. Seriously, there are days I don't even log into Blogger because I don't want to see others' brilliant ideas, when I can't even come up with enough words to put together a decent review. (Which is why I haven't written one in over a week.)

I hate the times where there's conflict and negativity swirling around. But you know what? That's human nature. We are in a big bubble of bookish people. Despite the fact that we all have one very similar interest, the community is still jam-packed with a variety of people with a variety of opinions. And that's okay. But conflict is unavoidable. It just is.

But, more frequently, there are the times when the book blogging community is the greatest place to be: bountiful bookish discussions, excitement over an upcoming release, author events, movie news (VAMPIRE ACADEMY. HELL TO THE YES.) Not to mention it is ever-growing. I can't tell you how many new faces I see pop up from a retweet or a "hey! Check out New Blogger's blog. It's fantastic!" from a trusted bookish friend.

And so I present to you the reasons that the book blogging community makes me smile so wide that I feel like my face might fall off:

My TBR is now monstrous.
Honestly, I've been stalking so many blogs for years now. Back in 2008, I would scour the Amazon discussions for "If I Liked Twilight, What's Next?" Because I simply had to read more. That was my only source back then. I knew diddly-squat of GoodReads or what a book blog was. I kept track of all the books I wanted to read in a physical notebook. I even had a nifty little highlighting system of the books I'd read and the series I'd conquer. TOTALLY gratifying, by the way, but I digress. Fast forward 5 years and BAM. My GoodReads to-read shelf is over 1000. Unrealistic? Sure. But I wouldn't know about half of these books without the recommendations of fellow readers and Twitter-stalking all of you.

24/7 Reader Support.
I'll tell you what: I am never at a loss of people with whom to discuss my most recent enthralling read. SOMEONE out there has read and loved a book that I love and is more than willing to drop everything they're doing to discuss it with me. I can't do that with just anyone. Thanks to blogging, I've got thousands of fellow readers at my fingertips, just waiting to delve into the ins and outs of hypothesizing what the author will put us through with the next book, why I ship these characters and not others, OMG CAN YOU BELIEVE WHAT TAHEREH MAFI WROTE? (I lost count of the conversations I've had about Unravel Me.) Any time, any place, any hour of the day, the book blogging community has 24/7 bookish emotional meltdown support. 

We get to talk to/meet our own personal Justin Biebers.
Let's face it: authors are our superstars. And Twitter and blogging provides us the opportunity to actually interact with them. UNFATHOMABLE. I can't tell you how much I almost peed my pants when Melissa Marr tweeted me back the first time? And when I met Richelle Mead? Let's just say I was reduced to a rambling imbecile. But you know what? These authors are sweet as pie and receptive to all our incessant fangirling. In what other community does this happen?!

Avatars turned IRLBFFs.
I can't think of a better feeling than meeting a bookish friend for the first time in person. Don't you love the fact that it's not even awkward? Because you've talked to them so much about favorite books, favorite characters, most anticipated reads, etc. that it's like you have known them all your life? Yeah, book blogging did that. My daily life wouldn't be what it is now without my bookish friends. 

The Total Generosity of Other Bloggers.
Didn't get that ARC that you wanted? I GUARANTEE that there's a blogger who did get it and is willing to share it with you, wanting nothing in return. 

Innovation and Humor.
Book Bloggers are some of the wittiest people I know. Most of us love cats, coffee, Internet memes, and sarcasm. I can always count on my book blogger friends to bring the LOLs. I can't tell you how many times I've laughed at A Reader of Fictions' Cover Snark or Forever Young Adults' Vampire Diaries posts or Cuddlebuggery's In 10 Lines. Not to mention I've loved participating in In My Mailbox and Top Ten Tuesday over the years. And I'll forever love Anna's multitudes of stick figure videos. 

Variation.
Guys, I don't mean to sound like a dating service. Truly, I don't. But in this community, there is a bookish BFF for everyone. And there is a place for everyone. Variety is, for real, the spice of life. And there are thousands of readers out there that are just a click away, waiting to discuss any and everything. The best part? The feeling of community. Sometimes the collective passion books is just so massive and ginormous that I can't even articulate my heart-explody love for all the books and all the bloggers and all the authors.

I don't regret joining this community, because so much joy has resulted from it. And I'd do well to remember that when I get down and out about blogging.

This One Thing: A Strange Quirk of Mine (and My Worst Nightmare Comes True)

My husband would probably say I'm a pretty quirky person. I sing the same line of a song over and over again, sometimes in different voices. I shut all the blinds on the windows and pull the curtain down in front of the door and make sure that I sit in "my spot" on the couch where I can't be seen through the kitchen window when I'm reading at night. (LISTEN. There could be a SCARY FACE looking in at me.) When he's out of town, I sleep with a hammer on my nightstand. (I know, you'd think a knife would be better, but I'm not trying to get that close to an intruder. BAM. Hammer throw.)

But my biggest, and probably longest standing, quirk is my pre-shoe application quirk: I bang both shoes at least 5 times against the ground before putting them on. 

It doesn't matter if they're slip-on flats, tennis shoes, boots. It doesn't matter if they've been sitting up on a shelf. It doesn't matter if they're in a box. It doesn't matter if they're see-through. I will still do it.

Allow me to explain: one fateful day back in 2006 when Mr. Jen was Jen's Boyfriend and we lived together in a cute little apartment, he decided to take me out for a delicious steak dinner. SCORE. I had this adorable little pair of brown canvas flats with a flower print. They were effing adorable. No socks or anything needed. Just slip them on and go. So I did.

While we were walking to the car, I felt something in the shoe knocking around. Figuring it was a pebble or a small piece of mulch, I laughed and said to the boyfriend: "LULZ I HOPE IT'S NOT A SPIDER." He laughed back and agreed, knowing my unrelenting, yet totally rational (don't try and argue with me) fear of the eight-legged monsters.

You can see where this is going.

So we get to the car and drive off. Singing along to every song on the radio, doing car dances, and just generally basking in the awesomeness of each others' company. The "pebble" was soon forgotten.

We get to the steak house and enjoy our medium filets. I have my legs crossed and start kicking my foot around, like I always do. The pebble returns. Damnit pebble, stay still! I'm not taking my shoes off in the restaurant, though. Ah well, we're getting ready to leave anyway.

Fast forward to the parking lot and the boyfriend unlocks the car. I tell him that the rock in my shoe is really freaking annoying. I open the passenger door and take a seat.

"Don't drive away yet, I'm going to shake this stupid rock out of my shoe."

"It's about time. You've been talking about it for like, two hours now."

I take off my shoe.

A HUGE BROWN SPIDER CRAWLS OUT OF IT COMPLETELY MOTHEREFFING ALIVE.

Commence meltdown screaming bloody murder people are staring who cares KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT bye bye shoe that is now 100 feet across the parking lot WOW didn't know I could throw that far BUT THE SPIDER IS STILL IN THE CAR why the crap isn't my boyfriend doing something about it OH that's right because i've launched myself onto his lap and am probably constricting his trachea right now FINE I'LL LET GO BUT KILL IT.

To sum it all up: I'll never not shake out my shoes again. Ever.