disclaimer: the contents of this post may have breaking dawn spoilers. also, this is just my opinion. i totally respect those of you who loved breaking dawn. hey, i'm going to see the movie myself!
So a Breaking Dawn clip was released and, after I giggled, I was inspired to write this.
Initially I was just looking for something to rhyme with "love story," but then I got to thinking. According to the Roman Catholics (that's you, mom & dad!), purgatory is a "place of state of suffering inhabited by the souls of sinners who are atoning for their sins before going to heaven." And ladies and gents, if you're like me, watching Breaking Dawn will be a trip to purgatory.
I reached Stage 5 Clinger status with this saga. I gave into temptation and read that first book, which ignited a flurry of pathetic internal musings like "NO ONE WILL EVER LOVE ME LIKE EDWARD LOVES BELLA!" or "I'LL BET VAMPIRES REALLY DO EXIST AND THEY OBVS MAKE THE MOST LOYAL BOYFRIENDS AND WILL ASK ME TO MARRY THEM AND OMG I WANT ONE."
Yeah, you catch my drift. I'm ashamed.
So as I flew through the next two books, my passion and obsession with these books, these characters, was amplified by a number that has so many digits that there aren't even enough digits to express it. I was so ready for Breaking Dawn. It was finally going to happen. Edward and Bella were going to get married and be happy forever. The plain jane girl will finally get her vampire prince, there will be explosions of sexytimes in every nook and cranny of the universe, and I'll cry out at the resplendence of it all! Because these characters who were so very real to me will get their happily ever after.
The first 50ish pages were heaven. The wedding, the honeymoon, the bed-breaking. I was even willing to forgive the "fade to black" consummation because hey, I'm no voyeur. But then the honeymoon was over. Then other....stuff....happened.
WAIT. STOP. HALT. Where is Ashton Kutcher? Where's my calendar? Is it April 1st? Is it opposite day? Who are these characters? Who wrote this book? I kept waiting for everything to go back to normal, but it never did. And I was sad.
For me, Breaking Dawn was the purgatory of the saga.
Was I being punished for giving into the temptation of reading these books?
Is this what I get for falling in love with these characters?
And for the love of everything, why am I still reading it?
Fast forward a few years and the movie adaptation is upon us. I was holding my breath for a total rewrite of the plot--didn't happen, obvs. I know what is going to happen and I know it's going to make me cringe. But I'm going to sit through it, because I feel I have to atone for my obsession. I'm going to provide whispered commentary filled with disbelief and chagrin (HA) to my husband and he's going to ask me at least 56 times why I dragged him to the theater.
Because it's closure. I'll sate my (morbid) curiosity and it'll be done. I'll break free from Twilight fangirlism and be able to say that I'm over it. "Oh, Twilight? Yeah, I USED to be obsessed with those books. Ancient history, though!" followed by nervous laughter and a rapid subject change.
Plus, all good things must come to an end. Unless Midnight Sun is released. Then I take back everything I just said. I'll delete this post and it'll be like it never existed.
What about you guys? Were you obsessed like I was? Did you love it/hate it? And most importantly, will YOU be going to see the movie? I'm dying to know!