This will be chock full of spoilers, people. But I've got to get my thoughts out.
2. The aunt from Twister has not aged a day. Good call moving out of Wakita, KS after that F5, Gran, though I think you would've been safer from violent, rotating vortices than in Bon Temps. That being said, I think Sookie should hook up with her cousin (I think cousin) Helen Hunt, because I think Vampire Bill would probably be a valuable addition to a storm chasing team.
3. Vampires cannot wash blood out of their hair while it's being foiled. And good thing, too. Long-haired Eric just didn't do the things that short-haired Eric does. (See: impregnates women worldwide on sight. When are you due?)
4. Bon Temps residents are tolerable of pretty much any and everything. You are a crazy stoned social worker and you want to house me and feed me and find the right path in life? Go ahead and move into my best friend's house and trash it while she's on vacation. It's cool, as long as I can keep sleeping with the tall handsome guy named Eggs. (WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, TARA?!) Honestly, the Maryann thing was the worst twist ever.
5. Lafayette's insults never get any less awesome.
6. Bill saying "Sookehhh" will never get any more attractive. Blergh. Also "I AM VAMPIRE." Lulz.
7. Best friends? What best friends? All the best friends in Bon Temps are either demon-possessed or murderers.
8. Any scene with Sookie and Eric immediately makes up for the Maryann monstrosity and makes me all fluttery in my stomach.
9. Sam Merlotte will never, ever, ever, ever find love. And that is very sad, because he's the only person besides Terry Bellfleur who consistently shows up for work. AND he could be your boyfriend and man's best friend, but you don't have to buy dog food or take him to the vet! And he'll hire you on the spot, regardless of your sketchy history or, you know, lack of social security information. WHAT A NICE GUY. Is this crossing into weird territory? TOO BAD, because I love Sam Merlotte.
10. Hoyt Fortenberry is awesome and ALSO makes me feel very accomplished for 27 years old. I pay my own cell phone bill and live on my own, woot!
11. WORST. INTRO. EVER.
12. Janis Ian is actually really pretty. (And she agrees. She thinks she's really pretty.) She also traded her goth stereotype for something a little more hippie, which is fitting. Except for the evilness. She's kind of an evil hippie.
13. WHY DID THE MARYANN THING HAPPEN? I hope it's over. Forever. Plus, there was a lot of Very Bad Nudity going on when she was around.
14. Even in TV, it's only the crazy "Christians" that get screen time, which is why everyone hates them. And preacher's wives are scandalous and have big hair, also because it's full of secrets.
15. Jason Stackhouse could possibly be my favorite television redneck of all time. But he has a few weird "too close" brother/sister moments with Sookie.
16. Bill's maker is HORRIBLY annoying.
17. No matter the WTFery, the facepalming, the Very Bad Nudity, the Sam heartbreak (DAMNIT, somebody love Sam NOW!), the lack of acceptable number of Sookie and Eric scenes, the Tara idiocy, the Tara's mom's idiocy, I still cannot stop watching this train wreck of a show. I think I'm in for the long haul. Sigh. And I finally understand the Alexander Skarsgard fandom.