Okay, so we all have those moments where we're in a bookstore and we just so happen to see all the books we want to buy. Then we have to smuggle them in our house and sometimes, just sometimes, our husbands/boyfriends/families are like "you spent x amount of dollars at x store?!" Oops. A pox on online banking!
Naturally, we jump on the defense. Here are some of the top excuses I've given for my obsessive book buying.
1. "There are worse things to be addicted to. Hey, I'm not smoking crack, am I? I could be smoking crack."
Because, really, we all could be smoking crack.
2. "This is the last book I'll buy this month, I promise!"
But don't specify whether it's a rolling calendar month or the actual end of the month. Works like a charm. Hey, you didn't lie.
3. "But I had to buy the new cover. Silly publishers decided to change the book's design on me and now I have to have all the books match on my shelf or I'll just LOSE my MIND."
No one wants to be responsible for bloodshed on account of unmatched books.
4. "I know that I already read the ARC. But sometimes story lines change in the transition from ARC to finished copy and I want to make sure I don't miss anything!"
It could happen.
5. "But the hardcover is way discounted on Amazon! See? I only paid $12 instead of $20 like I would at a bookstore. Aren't you proud of me for saving money?"
Put a positive spin on it and suddenly you're a budgeting hero.
6. "I saw this in the bookstore and thought of you. Wait, since when don't you enjoy YA contemporaries? I'll just read it myself, I guess."
Ugh, so ungrateful.
7. "I buy these books because I want to build an expansive library for our future children someday. You want our kids to be well-read, don't you?"
Won't somebody please think of the children?
8. "I'm going to a book signing. You can't just go to an author signing without buying their book. That's trashy!"
Sure, it's the only title of, like, seven by that author that you don't have. But you can't be rude. You have to have all the books signed or else THEY. WON'T. MATCH.
9. "I know I have 300 unread books, but I am gonna read this book as soon as I get home!"
9a. "And I'm gonna read all those other books someday, anyway."
10. "I had a bad day."
Retail therapy, ftw.
I know you guys have some amazing excuses, too. What do you tell your significant other/family?